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welcome. enjoy my little quiz.

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1. what is a "gynotikolomassophiliac"?
A. someone who obsesses over women's undies
B. a fancy term for a feminist
C. someone who obsesses over nibbling on a woman's ear
D. someone very concerned with fidelity

2. "anyways":
A. is considered proper grammar.
B. is improper but is used enough not to bitch about it.
C. is totally improper and reserved for uneducated fucks.
D. is a transitional phrase.

3. you have three dollars, are out of smokes, and its dinnertime. do you:
A. buy food
B. buy cigarettes
C. bum a smoke and buy a burger

4. your webmistress is commonly known for:
A. bitchiness
B. flatulence
C. spastic behavior
D. all of the above

5. you hork a loogie on the ground and it jiggles. this is an effect commonly known as:
A. gravity
B. centrifugal force
C. inertia
D. relativity
E. gross -- why are you watching your loogies?

6. true or false: food coloring alters your excretia.
A. true
B. false

7. peppermint or spearmint?
A. peppermint
B. spearmint

8. filthy rich or absolutely beautiful?
A. rich
B. pretty
C. let's be greedy and choose both

9. masturbation:
A. kills kittens.
B. gives you acne.
C. paves the road to revolution.
D. feels good.

10. smoking:
A. is bad for you, especially if you're flammable.
B. speeds up a long, painful process.
C. is bad for you. period.
what is the capital of illinois?

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Alexandria

Gainesville

Chelsea

Green River

Bloomington

Virginia Beach

Spring Rises

Ennis

York

Palm Springs

Port St. Joe

Khajurāho

Show Low

Choctaw

Dallas

Portland

Morgan Hill

Killeen

Doswell

Ephraim

Greensburg

Newcastle upon Tyne

Palm Beach

West Bend

Richmond Heights

Clinton

Rawlins

Imerovigli (Santorini)

Shenandoah

Hobbs

Nashville

New Orleans

Placentia

Rogersville

Toronto

Salida

Woodson Terrace

Post Falls

Mount Laurel

Springfield

Mattoon

Flint

Vis

Dana Point

Middleton

Peru

Hasselt

Lexington

Venice

Alicante

Saint Lucia